Let the Vibes be Raised!
It’s me again, regarding the vibes.
By vibes I mean, the way you feel, the way you feel in your environment, the way you feel around other people. The overall impression and experience you’re currently enjoying or anticipating.
The word “vibes” gets thrown around willy-nilly (usually by me) so I think it’s good to clarify once in a while what the vibes are.
So now that that’s done, let us discuss.
How is your vibe? Is it a vibe of calm, zen, of joy, of love for yourself and the people around you? Or is it a vibe of dread, boredom, anxiety, frustration and a dizzying, nauseating feeling that history is repeating itself?
That sinking feeling that yesterday was just like the day before, and today will be the same and so will tomorrow. And you don’t really like what you see when you look in the mirror, and you don’t really like the people you spend time with day in and day out but you do it because you have to, it’s expected of you and you’re just sort of “in” this life.
But like… are you living life… or is life living you?
If this sounds eerily accurate it’s just because I’ve lived that life and I know how much it sucks.
So, again, back to the vibes. Sure there are some things out of your control. But some things always are in your control.
Even if it’s the smallest, teensiest thing, there’s SOMETHING you can do to lift your vibe.
Because I feel you rolling you eyes, I will now list several of them.
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO FEEL CUTE
Taking care with your appearance just to please YOUR OWN DAMN SELF is actual magic. When you look good, you feel good. When you have something against your skin that brings you joy, you feel more joyful. Wear the cute underwear set. Don’t wait for date night or for the right moment or right person. It’s 2020. We don’t have time to waste. Wear that shit for YOU.
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO SAY NO
Let’s do an exercise. Sit up straight. Look straight ahead. Let your jaw relax. Place your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Open your mouth slightly. Say the word, “…NO.”
This is your golden ticket. BOUNDARIES. I will beat this drum for you until the day I die. Say no. Say no to lots of people, to lots of things. Say no to at least 4 things today. Hold that energy for yourself, flex your voice and see what happens. You think people won’t listen to you, but they will learn to when all they get from you is a firm “no”!
YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW TO SPEND YOUR TIME
Breathe deeply. What do you FEEL LIKE DOING.
Did I just blow your mind? *Files nails* Yea, I’m not surprised.
But this inner voice that acts as your compass telling you what you actually FEEL LIKE gets so dimmed and so buried over time, someone has to remind you.
Take a deep breath, feel it go through your body. Feel where the breath gets stuck. Where - in your stomach, your heart, your throat? Do you suddenly have a headache? Pay attention to that.
Now breath deeply again and think the words, as in - say it out loud to yourself in your mind our literally out loud - “what do I feel like doing?” What would FEEL GOOD. Some part will answer you. Maybe it’s a nap. Maybe you’re hungry. Maybe a friend’s name comes to mind and you want to call them, meet up, go for a social-distanced walk, get some ice cream. Maybe what would actually feel good is cleaning out that closet with all the shit in it that you just kind of toss things into. Maybe have a bath.
TUNE IN with yourself and find out what feels good and do that thing, or at least plan to.
I could go on and on, but that’s a great place to start and someone smart once told me that blogs and newsletters shouldn’t be novels. So, I shall refrain.
But you know what else changes the vibe dramatically? Having someone on your side who cares about you, who is dedicated JUST TO YOU and helping YOU elevate and shift, helping YOU find out who you are and what you really want.
Which is why I do what I do. I’ve been overwhelmed, used, ignored, and had my ability to say “No” basically broken. The longer I ignored my own needs, the worse I felt and the worse my relationships became until I decided NO MORE.
By putting myself first, for once, I was actually becoming better and more loving for everyone around me. I can help you do that, too.
Sometimes there are things we just can’t think our way out of, but that’s why we aren’t on this planet alone. We’re here to lift each other up and support each other. If you’d like to talk more, I’m here for you.
xo